Looking back to last year at this time, I can remember feeling overwhelmed and over worked. Closing down the Bonnie Doon clinic was tougher than I could have ever imagined. The work load was extreme and the expectations of those around me were…well..unrealistic. I realize now that everyone was living in a bubble of their own making. Doing only what was in front you pretty much made you go through life with blinders on. I had days where I really did feel like one of those poor race horses, just not knowing where the finish line was.
Coming home one nite after working at 2 clinics …for over 16 hours, I realized that I could change it all with a single word.
No.
So I did. I said no and very quickly the universe fell into line. Two weeks later I had surgery. Then I took 6 months off. I collected unemployment and sunbeams. I wore tube dresses to the grocery store. I said goodbye to some friends and held the hands and hearts of others. I cleaned and weeded and was fully present when my sweet girl graduated high school. I hosted parties and Bbq’s. I drank champagne and danced with abandon. Hell…I even water skied.
Then I got bored.
Gained 15 pounds.
Had the biggest mental meltdown of my life….the el Grande of all hissy fits….
and…
Un-employment ran out.
It started raining.
I remember getting a phone call asking if I was looking for work. Mentally the door was opened. I decided to take a chance and instead of just sending out one resume -sent out about 9. Within hours I had more interviews than I could handle.
With in days I was working not one but 2 jobs trying to decide what was the best fit. It didn’t take long before I realized that what scared me most was really the best fit. So I closed my eyes and made it so.
The universe took care of me again.
It gave me what I needed and that included people who seemed to be willing to let me be me. It gave our family Clarence for 3 months. It even gave me a 15 pound weight loss. All bonus’s to just letting myself roll with what my intuition was telling me the whole damn time.
Today I am happy. I feel loved. I feel like I am making the best choices I have ever made for myself. My children are soaring and my family feels safe and secure.
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